JUNE 1 – It’s June!! I have about two months before I can start planning my leave back home to the States. This is a 14-day break that the Army gives every soldier to help alleviate battle stress and help the soldier cope with the pressures of war. My family and I are excited and believe it or not I don’t have a lot planned. I just want to enjoy the simple things that I miss such as sleeping in my own bed. I want to use a bathroom with running water. I want to eat my favorite food which is Chinese. I want to spend time with my wife and kids. I want to walk downtown Charlotte and not have to hurry to a 1 p.m. meeting. I want to wear regular clothes for a while. I want to eat in a restaurant. Well if I keep busy the time will go by fast. This week they got me driving this time. The focus as a driver is different. I try to keep my eye on the road and for anything strange in the road. I find myself looking at every crater on the road. The vehicle is a handful to handle driving while wearing body armor but I can get used to it. I have had the unique opportunity to man every position in our convoy. I feel like a ‘utility sergeant’.

JUNE 2 – We are back here at this abandoned house that will be our new station. We are staying out here for two hot grueling nights. There is an infantry company that is living out here full-time. I feel bad about complaining about the living conditions here because we are only here 2 or 3 nights a week. These guys live here full-time! I can tell that they are starved for any type of conversation from the outside. I have met several of the soldiers and already I know their backgrounds where they are from, marital status, and why they came to join the army. They are the ones that need our sympathy. These guys go on walking patrols in the neighborhoods, come back sleep eat, and then head back out on patrol. Another interesting point is that they are all so young. The average age is about 18 to 20 years of age! I really admire these guys to be handling such responsibility at such a young age. When I was that age I had no idea of what I wanted to do. We sat around most of the day with them and played cards. We shared with them our stories of how we all came to join the army. As I sat there I was feeling a strong sense of belonging to a brotherhood. We all were coming from places like Tucson, Arizona, Wichita, Kansas, and Charlotte, North Carolina. We were of different ages and different ethnic backgrounds, and yet we were solidified in one common purpose. I knew that these guys would protect me if their lives depended on it. I have to admit that I would do the same for them.

JUNE 3 – After a sweaty night in our new place, I was awakened by the sound of gunfire in the distance. The bad guys are just outside these walls, I thought to myself as I stumbled to put on my boots trying not to wake up the members of my team who were in the room with me. I got myself dressed and managed to go outside to sit on the patio of the house we were staying in. I looked at my watch and it was about 6:15 a.m. in the morning. I couldn’t sleep anymore because the heat in the room was almost making it uncomfortable to breathe. Some of our guys out of boredom built some makeshift patio furniture that they made out of pallets. To be honest they did a great job on it. They made 4 bench-like seats with a table in the middle. I told them that I was taking a picture of it because their wives couldn’t get that kind of work out of them when they were home! This furniture would have made a good sale at any swap meet. I sat down on one of the seats to watch the morning sun come up. I feel the heat beginning to rise as I pulled out my Bible to read some words of encouragement to start my day. Another couple of shots ring out as I am sitting there. It’s so weird because unless if it’s direct contact there is pretty much nothing we can do. I quickly scan the rooftops to make sure just in case no sniper has his sights fixed on me. I thank God for protecting me and my team. I also ask God to bless my wife and kids while I’m away. Going home seems like a million miles away right now. I finish reading my scripture for the day and I just take a few moments to meditate on how much God has blessed me. If I were to were to lose my life right now I can still say that I have lived a very fulfilling life. I couldn’t ask for a better wife than my wife Wendy. She is the secret behind the Sgt. Roy persona. She has been my biggest supporter in all that I do. She sees the part of Sgt. Roy that you guys don’t see. She sees me and knows everything about me and after all that, still loves me. My son Ryan, is an upgraded version of me. He is very smart, and funny and has an awesome future ahead of him. My daughter Jordan is a warrior. She was catastrophically sick about two years ago. God has healed her and she is a walking miracle! She has her daddy’s dance skills only better! It’s about 7 a.m. now and the sun’s heat has gone up a few more degrees. I also think about all of my students and friends who have blessed me with their good wishes. I noticed a smile had formed on my face. I think I’m ready to take on this hot brutal day.

JUNE 5 – I don’t know if I failed to mention that I teach a hip-hop class once a week for the soldiers at the gym. We had a big turnout tonight. What surprised me is that this sergeant and captain in my group showed up for the class! They both are rhythmically challenged but they participated in the class tonight! We had a turnout of about 15 people. I was so impressed that they decided to come! The captain came up to me after the class and said: “Lewis I can see that this is your calling!”

JUNE 7 – We are back at the station today. It’s about 9 p.m. and it is reported that one of the walking patrols has been attacked by a drive-by shooting. Two Iraqis and one American are wounded. The medical team moves in to render care and first responder care. After a few hours, it is relayed back to the wounded soldier’s team that he is okay. The tension on the team is tense because now soldiers want to mount up and go after these guys. Prior to this I was walking around the compound and came to the side where the Iraqi police are located. I saw an Iraqi soldier in the back of a pickup shouting at his fellow soldiers who were standing around the truck. He had mounted his machine gun and was banging on the roof of his truck motioning to his driver to get moving. It happens that as I was watching all this our interpreter was nearby. “What’s going on here, what is that guy saying?” I asked John our interpreter. “He is yelling at them to grab their equipment and let’s go find these guys that shot their guys.” He continued to say “he is calling them cowards because they won’t come.” Wow! To have this explained to me this way just made me so discouraged. All of us (U.S. soldiers) are making an effort to help these guys secure their country and these guys won’t jump in the truck and go after the bad guys who just shot one of their teammates!

JUNE 9 – I hate to bring you stories of doom and gloom but there is one story of interest. We were back at the station again. Like I said the infantry guys that live here full time are so happy to see us. We were sitting around on our makeshift patio furniture when this young private was talking about dancing. My captain is always playing jokes around here. He tells the private “Hey I don’t think you can out dance Sgt. Lewis here!” “He’s an old guy, this is too easy!” was the private’s response. So the guys start cattle calling and egging this private to show his moves. So one of the soldiers brought his iPod down and began blasting some hip-hop tune I’d never heard before. Before you knew it this private jumped off his seat and began doing his moves which were actually pretty good. By this time we had a small group of soldiers around us watching this. It was my turn and I tried to pass up the opportunity hoping this moment would go away. Well, my captain started pushing the issue again so I got up and made my way to the open area they set up for us. I pretended that I had to stretch my hamstrings and back before starting. Then I just let the ‘Sgt. Roy’ in my go! The private said, “Wow, you move pretty good for an old man!” “Well I guess I will take that as a compliment,” I said as I took my seat. I told the private is what they didn’t tell you is that I am one of Charlotte’s finest fitness instructors!” We both laughed about it and I told him not to worry, I thought his moves were better than mine.

JUNE 10 – America should know about these guys who are serving here. They are so young. There is one soldier who is from Arizona. I talked to another soldier who was from Indiana. I listened to one story after another of how these young guys came into the army. They all had one thing in common. They came from small towns throughout America and they wanted to leave home to find themselves. Throughout the day these young soldiers would suit up and go out on foot patrols throughout the city. The noon-day heat beat down on them as they walked through the neighborhoods where at any minute an insurgent could jump out and start shooting. I go out about 3 to 4 times a week in the city. These guys here live here 24/7. They sleep on army cots and have at least one hot meal allocated to them every day. When I was younger I could do this.

JUNE 11 – There is a funny story anywhere if you look for it. We were at the station today and when we arrived we went inside and talked with our Iraqi counterparts. In my case, my counterpart and I talked about logistical operations for the unit. In this building, there are three floors. The offices are located on the top floor. The other floors go down into the building. Well on the second floor below the Iraqis have a little shop there where there is a guy who makes and sells sandwiches. He makes this Iraqi sandwich that is called a ‘ta/ lop/ pia’. I hope I spelled that correctly. Any way my captain likes going down there to buy these sandwiches. The rest of the guys pass on it because since we’ve been here they are so afraid of getting sick. There was one-day last week when the captain asked me to join him in partaking in one of these sandwiches. I too was a bit nervous to eat this but he assured me that the sandwich was good and he had had several without getting sick. I found that strange because this captain is very sensitive about how his food is prepared and served. Well, this day he insisted that I go downstairs with him to buy this sandwich. The Iraqi economy is based on denari. So two sandwiches with a soft drink would just cost a dollar! We went downstairs and bought 4 sandwiches. Two for him and two for me. The second floor of this building is also used as the sleep quarters for the Iraqi soldiers. There is also a barbershop down there. I must say that the sandwiches were awesome! Today the captain insisted that I join him today for sandwiches. I was able to wiggle out of it by telling him that I had something to do at the truck. About 30 minutes went by when I saw the captain come over to me by the truck. “Man, I was ready to dig in one of those sandwiches until I saw a horrible sight!” he said as he shook his head in disgust. “What happened?” I asked trying to sound very concerned about the matter. “Man, I went downstairs and the smell was so inviting until I saw the cook standing in the kitchen cooking them with his boxer shorts on! That is when I lost my appetite!” I tried so hard not to laugh but the laughter spilled out of me like a river. That made my day!

JUNE 13 – Today my team blessed me. How? I was told last night that I wouldn’t be going out with the team in the morning. My first reaction was that I had something that I had to work on while they went to the station. It’s strange, but I also felt a small emotion of separation anxiety as well. I didn’t want these guys to do anything without me there. I got up this morning and went to our team room. I was taking care of some paperwork when our chief called for me to come into his office. “Yes sir, what do want?” I asked him as he closed the door behind me. “Lewis, you need to take a day off. You seemed to be running around way after everyone had quit for the day.” “Yes sir, I was just taking care of some……” “I know but you can do all of that later,” he said interrupting me in mid-sentence. I smiled and said “Yes sir” and left his office putting my paperwork away and back on my desk in my office. As I headed back to my room, our chief sergeant pulled me to the side and said “Hey when you walk around here without a smile on your face there is something seriously wrong. We just want to give you a day off to put the smile back on your face!” So today I cleaned my room, did my laundry, and did a little shopping at the PX. Funny I didn’t feel like I was being stressed but the fact that they guys read me that way hmm, I guess that means a lot to them for me to get some rest. Thanks, guys, I appreciate that!

JUNE 15 – I’m back from a well-deserved rest. I’m at the station today down here with our American infantry guys. There is a soldier who we will call Johnson. Johnson is about 18 years of age and hails from a small town in Nevada. He is two years younger than my own son. His mustache doesn’t do him any justice with his baby face and blue eyes. When my team arrives and we unload our stuff in our room which is located on the bottom floor Johnson is quick to greet us. I usually like to find my corner and curl up with a book or write but these guys who live here 24/7 I don’t have it in me to turn them away. Some of them are so starved for a conversation with someone else you can’t help but stop and listen. “Sergeant Lewis you want to see a magic trick?” he asks me. “Sure,” I say and we both sit down on the floor in the house and he continues to show me a card trick. To my amazement, he does this card trick that blows me away! When he is finished he grants me the opportunity to learn it. I won’t give it away but now I know how magicians perform some of these tricks. I went upstairs to the second floor and talked with some of the other soldiers that were there. They were so open as they shared their experiences patrolling this sector of Baghdad. I found out that we shared the same feelings about our mission here in Baghdad. They shared with me stories of how they found insurgents who were at one time working as interpreters for us! They went on to tell of how much dissension there is between the Sunni and Shia groups. We all agreed that they should be left alone to fight among themselves. Like I have written many times before this is a place of alliances. Who supports whom and who is against whom? These young men are my heroes. I went back downstairs to sit on the patio outside to make some entries in my journal. I was sitting there for about five minutes when this young soldier came and sat down beside me. He started his conversation by telling me that he was going to be 21 years of age in just two days. He was so excited that he was about to become legal where he could have his first drink. Somehow the conversation turned around about how his wife of two years was considering divorcing him. He is telling me right now how he and his wife might be going through a divorce. This soldier who we will call Jim was stationed at Fort Bliss, Texas. When I was in the regular army I too was stationed at Fort Bliss. I could sympathize with him because anyone who has been there will tell you that El Paso is in the middle of the desert. There really isn’t much to do in El Paso. I know when my wife and I got there we felt that we were on the other side of the world! Jim’s eyes began tearing up as he told me that his wife was struggling with the anxiety of being alone on her own without him. The good thing is that he said that one of the other soldier’s wives is helping her deal with all of this. This is the fourth thing that I don’t like seeing and that is a man hurting because he’s afraid that he will lose his wife. I listened and listened and I felt bad because I couldn’t help. I did tell him that he could find assistance with his local pastor or Chaplin. I saw the helplessness on Jim’s face. He was on duty in Iraq but his heart was with his wife. Wow! talk about being torn between two places. This war has costs in so many ways. Not only has it cost in deaths but also the survivors who will come back with hidden scars such as Jim. My frustration is growing as time goes on. I went for a walk around the compound to walk off my emotions. It was then that I saw a soldier on top of a tank washing his laundry out of a Gatorade cooler! It was then I said thank you Jesus for bringing my sense of humor back!

JUNE 16 – I am so far removed from the news and happenings that are happening in the United States. We have here the Armed Forces network but it tends to show us selective new clips. The thing I find obnoxious is the commercials that are all about the military. “Go to school through the Army College Fund. This is for you!” is one of the commercials that I see all the time. I know for me I don’t have a television in my room so I read the military newspaper here called the ‘Stars and Stripes’. I will catch an occasional baseball game. My favorite team is the New York Yankees. I have been a fan since I was a child growing up on the Hudson River in New York. I’m in the gunner’s hatch this week. I think it’s my favorite post to man. I sit up high in the truck and I scan the road looking for any suspicious activity. I’m going on my seventh month of being here. I laugh at myself because it’s been about that long that I haven’t had any junk food. On our camp, we have a few vendors such as Burger King, Taco Bell, Subway, and Pizza Hut but they all taste different here. I had a craving one night for a Sonic hotdog. There was another night I dying for some Showmars as well. You can throw some Dunkin doughnuts in there as well. It’s just as well because I need to lose some weight. The mess hall here as I stated before is just okay. All the cooks are from India (there’s nothing wrong with being from India) but the simple things like Chili Mac or Sloppy Joes taste as if they added extra spices to it! I will be coming home soon for my leave and you bet I will partake of all my favorite places to dine. The heat is another issue of concern too. I had the advantage of teaching 8 to 10 classes a week at the gym. This kept me in decent shape and looking pretty good if I must say so myself. The heat here seems to be breaking me down. I am drinking plenty of water, Gatorade, and soft drinks. I find myself getting weak and just wanting to sleep all the time. I teach two classes a week at the gym and I starting my weight training back up again. Hopefully, this will give me the strength that I need.

JUNE 17 – Happy Father’s Day! I want all who support me by reading these articles to know about my Dad. His name is Roy Howard Lewis Sr. and I am Roy Jr. My dad has been an inspiration for me since I was a kid. My dad is the father of six kids, and I think 12 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. Growing up I thought my dad was the hardest man that I ever met! He gave us a curfew and his rules for our house were strict. My dad wouldn’t even let me wear a ‘clip-on tie. He made me stay in my room until I learned how to tie a regular tie! He comes from a very strong work ethic. He got me my first job at 16 and when I wanted expensive things he made me work for them. He gave me my first car too. When I call him on the phone he always talks to me like I am twelve years old by saying “Hey champ”. I really don’t mind it. When I run into issues he seems to calm me down. There is one thing that puzzles me. I don’t get my sense of rhythm from him at all. I do get my sense of humor from him. I want to wish him a Happy Father’s Day. He has left me a wonderful legacy to live by. Love you, Dad.

JUNE 18 – Tragedy struck today! Another unit was attacked by an RPG (rocket-propelled grenade) fire today. Sadly a sergeant was hit in a vehicle in which he lost both of his legs! I noticed that when my team hears news like this there is a somber attitude amongst the group. I can tell that the news numbs us into some kind of silence. I think at this point many of us are just frustrated. The fear has been replaced by quiet anger. I really think we are trying to find out the purpose of why we are here. I think we are doubting ourselves and wondering if we are making a difference in this country. When an American soldier gets killed or injured it is like it has happened to all of us. All of us have been affected by it in some way or another. It’s never an issue of “I’m glad it wasn’t me” but instead it’s like we lost someone close to us. I had to go to this place to do some turn-ins of equipment. This place is where I would turn in the equipment is also located where they keep all of the blown-up vehicles. For security reasons, I can divulge how many but let’s just say it was more than I wanted to see! It was more like a graveyard to me as I ventured out to get a better look. All of those vehicles out there could tell a story. I know for me, I will never be the same. I am so proud to be an American soldier!

JUNE 19 – Today is the birthday of a friend of mine and my trainer partner Trish Nemitz. She is a wonderful friend and a support to me while I am over here in Iraq. “Happy Birthday Trish”. I was going to call her but as I write this I am staying the night down in Baghdad tonight. Trish gave me a code word when I left. She tells me to “Pay Attention!” She knows me so well because I will start joking around and not paying attention that a war is going on. So, I want her to know that I appreciate that. We have a small circle of friends in which we celebrate each other’s birthdays. This is the first year that I have missed hers. 2006 will be just a blank for me. I have missed so many events that I will have to catch up. She is one of the most talented people that I know but yet she thinks so much beneath herself. I pray for her happiness and that God will give her the desires of her heart. She has truly been a good friend to me and my family. I will always love her for that.

JUNE 20 – I woke up this morning at about 6 a.m. and sat out on the balcony to watch the morning sunrise. I couldn’t sleep well because our sleeping area doesn’t have air conditioning yet. My back doesn’t do too well on an army cot either. When I wake up early in the morning I make it a point to talk to God. My prayers aren’t difficult but I ask God for his divine protection over me and my team. I continue on to pray for my family, friends, and the church. It was then that I heard an enormous explosion! The insurgents were at it again. I got up and ran to the open area where our trucks were parked and stood there for a while. Five minutes had gone by and I didn’t see anyone respond. Judging from the sound of the explosion it was close. Very close. I just thought to myself ‘What a crazy way to disturb a beautiful morning.

JUNE 23 – I knew it was too good to be true. We were traveling on our way to the station to work with the Iraqi National Police today. I was riding today in the gunner’s hatch. It was then that an incoming rocket went over us and landed somewhere in an open field about 1,000 yards from us! As usual, the sound startled me because at first, I couldn’t see where it landed. As we continued to move it was then that I saw the mushroom cloud in the distance! I just want to scream! I don’t understand a lot of what is going on around me. I feel so helpless because I feel like so many people are getting killed and hurt. Over what? Yet still, there is a part of me that is so proud to be here with these men and women. I’m afraid to think what would happen if this rocket was more accurate. We made it to the station with no damage to us or our equipment. When unloaded our equipment in our room there were two journalists from Hungary staying in our room. I didn’t want to sound rude but I wasn’t in the mood to be interviewed by the rest of the world who is just watching all of this.

JUNE 24 – We have a sergeant on our team let’s just call him Sgt. Smith. Sgt. Smith years ago had his own business in which he did heating and air conditioning. Who would have guessed that these skills would work to our advantage here at our station? We are staying at this abandoned house that is now being used to house our American troops. The engineers have come in and sandbagged all of the open windows but still, there is no running water or electricity throughout the house. We were told that the engineers were coming to wire our house with electricity and especially air conditioning coolers. Well, weeks have gone by with excuse after excuse of why these guys are showing up. There were a few nights that I would literally wake up in the middle of the night because it was too hot to sleep. Well here comes Sgt. Smith to the rescue! There were two generators outside the house that were dedicated to us for our house. They weren’t hooked up yet but nonetheless, they were just sitting there. Sgt. Smith did a walk through the house to find out where to start this project. Just in one night, he was able to get some ceiling fans to work in the room where we were staying. In one week he was able to wire our house and get the air conditioning unit to work. If we didn’t have him it would have been a brutal summer for us all. Thanks, Sgt. Smith, you’re a lifesaver!

JUNE 25 – My leave is in two months. I’ve talked with some of my teammates about their feelings when they finally arrived back home. Many said that they felt like visitors in their own homes. They said that their wives had such a handle on things that they felt that they were more in the way than anything else. One good thing I hear is that the American people are meeting the soldiers at the airport and cheering them as they arrive home. Every soldier that I talked to said that this outpouring of support has made them feel welcomed. I’m glad to hear that. I couldn’t have imagined what it was like for the soldiers that went to war in Vietnam. Some of the guys who went back to the States were also facing a form of separation anxiety. They found it hard to leave their units. I myself am working on what my posture will be with my family. I pray not to get into arguments with my wife and kids. I do want to relax and enjoy my wife and kids. I’m ready to go on leave now. I really need some time off.

JUNE 27 – The war is affecting everyone. It amazes me sometimes how people must read my vibe and come sit down next to me and start talking to me! Well, this was the case this morning at the gym. We spend the night back at our base camp so I got up early this morning to go to the gym. Because of the dry heat and the lack of teaching 8 to 10 classes a week, I found that my legs were getting so stiff and my knees were hurting too! After signing in at the front desk I took my position behind the leg extension machine. It was just then that this young soldier sat down next to me at the hamstring machine. He was a white male about the age of 20. Our eyes met several times until I realized that this young man wanted someone to talk to. “Hey, how ya doing?” was all that I could muster up at the time. Well, this didn’t deter him at all. Let’s just call him Private Johnson. “I apologize for talking so much I just came off of a mission,” he said as he smiled. I assured him that it was okay. Private Johnson proceeded to tell me all about his patrols and all of the near misses his unit has gone through. He said that his leave date was slowly approaching. As he went on I could tell this time together was really good to him. It allowed him to sort things out. We both celebrated that his 21st birthday was slowly approaching. He anxiously awaited his return to the States because it meant that he would be of the legal drinking age in his home state of Mississippi. I looked at my watch and noticed how this conversation had put me behind in my routine. It didn’t matter. My friends know me too that when I go to the gym I end up talking to a half dozen people before I even get started. I felt honored to have been available to this young man and to help him sort his feelings out.

JUNE 28 – I am leaving the gate today. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t hear about some incident that involves our American soldiers. I was asked by one of my teammates “Why are you not afraid?”Many of you know that I am a Christian. I share my faith in the life that I live. There are times that I must speak about the reasons why I believe. There are days when I notice that members of my team seem to be in some strange mood. That mood would sometimes consume me as well. I would start to become irritable and this overcoming sense of fear would grip my innermost being. One day that happened and I had to just go behind one of the trucks and drop to my knees. I prayed Heavenly Father thank you for this day. I thank you that this is the day that you made. I thank you that today you have ordered my footsteps. Nothing will happen unless you allow it to happen. I ask you to release me from this spirit of fear and anxiety so that I can be free to do my job to the fullest. I pray this not only for myself but also for every member of my team and any other unit that has to leave through these gates today! I thank you for your safety as we travel these streets in this hostile city. Jesus, I give you all the honor and praise for this. Amen.” It was so instant that I felt this dark cloud leave me. I looked around and noticed that my teammates were beginning to crack jokes as they loaded up the trucks. So I want you all who read about my exploits here that there is not a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t pray before leaving and now coming back in through those gates!

JUNE 30 –The Iraqi soldiers will ask us for everything! I learned from one of our interpreters that they believe that all of us come from wealthy backgrounds. When I first came here I gave one of the attendants at the station that serves us chi tea a pair of sunglasses as a thank-you gift. Well after a month a pair of sunglasses became a laptop computer! Well of course I had to tell him that item was out of my control! What bothers me is that they ask us for everything! Everything from fuel, food, vehicles, and water. Personally, I don’t think it’s a problem because they don’t have the means to support themselves. I think the problem runs a lot deeper than that. There is one thing that is true. There is power in unity. The human rights movement in America is a prime example of that. African Americans united together across the country to form a common bond to move the conscience of a nation! This nation has problems that run internally.