AUGUST 2 – I am learning an interesting fact about the Iraqis that we work with. Their commitment level is not equal to that of the American soldier. At the station, we keep a communication radio on so that we can listen to communication calls that come into the station. You guys know me; I can be found staying up late of course working on my computer. I heard one of the American soldiers call in a report that none of the gun positions were being manned by any of the Iraqi policemen! In the American army, this kind of rebellion wouldn’t happen. The repercussions for a stunt like this would carry severe consequences. Also, there was a growing opinion among the Iraqis that they preferred that we Americans go out on patrol all the time. I have seen these guys in action. At the slightest sound of gunfire, they will run for cover and not pursue the enemy. In some cases, there would be just two bad guys who were shooting at their group of 15  soldiers. Still, all in all, they will run away from the confrontation. Our new team chief wants so badly to make a difference over here that he is willing to have us provide for the Iraqis at any cost. We have brought to these guys items like barbed wire, sandbags, bulletproof glass, food, and fuel to assist them in their efforts only to find their actions to be very minimal. As the days go I am finding myself less tolerant of their needs. I hate to be that way, but I’m just not seeing any initiative on their part to take ownership of their situation.

AUGUST 3 – I want to take the time to acknowledge the achievement of my daughter Jordan who has graduated high school from the Rod of God Christian Academy. Way to go Jordan! This is my youngest child who will be leaving soon to attend college. My wife and I are soon-to-be empty nesters! I received this news with great joy and sadness at the same time. All of my children are now grown and will be out on their own trying to make a difference in the world. It’s got to be about 120 degrees today. We got the word that we will be heading out with the Iraqi National Police today on patrol. As I’ve stated before with the changes our new chief has made on us, this will include more nights for us here at the station. I’m loading up all of my equipment and I’m headed out to the truck. I know when I am done with the mission my uniform will be totally soaked with sweat from head to toe from the Iraqi heat. It doesn’t take us long as a team to mount up and leave for the station. My next question is “Where are we going?” Our area of responsibility is becoming so familiar to me that I really think that I could find my way easily around here.

AUGUST 4 – My Iraqi Dream ….. I was so exhausted from the day of patrols that our chief had scheduled for us. We had spent about four hours out and about in our sector of a small Shia neighborhood. When we came back into the station the team’s demeanor was one of anger and disgust. Most of us were questioning his reasoning behind having us work such an aggressive schedule. The trucks were unloaded and everyone stammered back into our team room soaked to the skin in exhausting sweat. Despite the air of irritability in the room, everyone made themselves comfortable and prepared to go to bed for the evening. As I drifted off to sleep I had this dream in which this Iraqi boy of about 11 years of age was standing in front of me. I was drinking a bottled soft drink and I remembered that the boy had asked me if he could have a sip of my drink. I handed it to him and he began to drink it aggressively. It was then that I grabbed the bottle from him. The boy immediately became angry with me and he grabbed the bottle from me and hit me in the face with it! Without even thinking I grabbed the bottle from him and broke it over his head! It was then that I woke up feeling strange and I why would I dream such a thing. I attempted to analyze this dream over and over in my mind trying to make some sense of its meaning. The only thing that I could come up with was that the little boy represented Iraq. The bottled drink was all of the aid and support that I had to offer him. When the boy began to abuse the support that I offered him I took it away from him. That is when the boy became indignant and angry with me, so much so that he struck me. I became so surprised at his response that I retaliated and struck the boy back. By no means do I have any aggression against Iraqi children but I saw a lot of symbolism in this dream. I am not psychic nor am I clairvoyant but I thought it was weird that I would have such a dream.

AUGUST 5 – As I’ve stated before we are pushing a heavy patrol schedule with the Iraqi National police. We are staying longer at the station than usual. There is a growing apprehension of mistrust that is growing between the American and Iraqi forces here. I was surprised to hear that the Iraqis do not like to be told what to do. When we offer our advice in regards to how they should run their patrols they tend to become quietly defensive. I have noticed signs of passive-aggressive behavior when they don’t want to do something. They will show up late to patrols or either they will not come at all. I also noticed one night a call came in over the radio from one of the American soldiers in the guard tower. The soldier had called in to the Sergeant of the guard reporting that none of the Iraqi guard positions were manned! It was about two in the morning and I happened to be up writing on my computer when I heard it. I don’t know what happened after that incident but every day it is evident to me that there is a problem here. When I bring you these stories I try to become objective so as to not influence your opinion about why America should be here. I want you the reader to make up your own mind. I just want to report the stories and situations that you can’t see being there in America. I know that this whole experience has truly changed me. I have recanted some of my opinions that I have about this war, our leadership, and the direction we are going in. It is still my desire that you make up your own mind as I bring you tidbits of information about what it is like to be here in Baghdad, Iraq.
AUGUST 6 – I have about 37 days until I go home!!!! I am so excited about it. I really need this break. I am the second to the last person that is going on leave! I set it up this way so that when I return back to Iraq I will have only 3 months left until I return home for good. I want to thank all of you for your care packages, emails, and prayers of support. I still have a little ways to go until I finally come home but I want you all to know that I couldn’t have made it without you all! Trust me this overall has been time well spent. I have been doing some soul-searching and I have found room for improvement in every aspect of my life. I eagerly can’t wait to get started on some personal goals that I have for myself. There is tension growing in our sector this week. It was reported that some Iraqi police were involved in some deadly foul play! This is not the first time that I have heard about such an incident. There have been complaints of illegal checkpoints being set up where they take money from the local people. As a team, we try to stay clear of political conversations with each other. There was one comment that was made by a soldier in which he said “Things were much better here when Sadaam was in power.” I kept myself out of that conversation because when it comes to politics people will give you most of the time their feelings and not the facts. I almost took the bait but I stayed off that topic. In Iraq, alliances are formed and loyalty to someone or something is a serious matter. We have been told to watch what we say and how we respond to them. There has been some RPG (rocket-propelled grenade) fire against our station. Well, it was too quiet anyway. The last 4 months have been peaceful in our sector. I guess it was wishful thinking to think this peace would continue.

AUGUST 7 – It’s amazing how we can find humor in such a bad situation. We got some other soldiers from another unit to fill in for some of our guys who happened to be on leave right now. The soldier’s names are Specialist Catelli and Sergeant Seaver. They will be with us for about two weeks. Sergeant Seaver learned that our call name on the radio is ‘Dirty’. “Oh I didn’t know that was you guys!” he said one day as we were doing our routine patrol through a local neighborhood. “We would hear you guys on the radio all the time.” My captain, who was sitting on the passenger side asked “What so strange about that?” “Well sir, we would call in that certain roads were ‘black’ and that possible IEDs were on these roads. It would then be about 5 or so minutes when we would hear you guys call in your position on these roads.” It was then that we all began laughing in the truck! “You’re kidding, right?” my captain asked as if it was some story the young sergeant was making up. “No sir, we thought you guys were the Special Forces that were moving in and around Baghdad at will.” Again laughter consumed the truck. Listen Charlotte, that is why I pray; I don’t put my trust in these weapons, equipment and definitely not in the hands of these people! I shudder at the thought of how many times we were driving up and down these roads with bombs that were waiting to explode! I have to admit I was laughing too! You just can’t help laughing because if you didn’t all of this would get the best of you.

AUGUST 8 – We were out today and in the neighborhood doing what we call a ‘goodwill’ meet and greet with the Iraqi people today. My team got a bunch of soccer balls, toys, and candy to hand out to the children. This also reminds me that if any of you want to contribute soccer balls, school supplies, or candy to our cause feel free to send them and I will personally see to it that the children get your gifts. My contact information is on my website at (www.Speaksgtroy.com). Well, today the heat had granted us mercy so all of the children were out and playing about in the neighborhood today. It really is no different than the old neighborhood that I grew up in New York. The children had set up a soccer game in the street. Whenever a car would pass by all play would stop until the car would pass by. Some of the other children were playing tag and just horse-playing on the sidewalks. When they see our trucks coming it’s just as if we are a Good Humor ice cream truck! Every kid will stop what he or she is doing and they will shout “mista, mista” at us indicating that they want a soccer ball or candy. Well, today was special to me. One of my teammates was out of the truck and he was handing out soccer balls to the children. He was surrounded by at least 50 kids all wanting a ball. When he exhausted his supply of balls the children then indicated to him that they wanted candy. Well somehow with the assistance of an interpreter, he got the children to come back to my truck. My teammate said to the children “I don’t have any candy but I know a certain individual who always has candy on him. Go back there and just shout ‘Big Lew’!” So I was sitting up in the turret watching my sector when I think I heard my name being called. “Big Lew! Big Lew!” Of course, the Iraqi children have no idea what this means but they are willing to say it if it gets them candy. I stand up to get a better look and I see about twenty children smiling and waving at me. I look across the street and I see my teammate laughing his head off. So I had no choice but to respond. I thought that was the coolest thing having those Iraqi children shout out my name! I would have preferred the shouts of ‘Sgt. Roy’ but hey at least in Baghdad they know who I am.

AUGUST 9 – Well I have 30 days before I go on leave. It will be weird to be back home. It is so true that the more and more that I concentrate on my work over here I lose some of my mental references to home. I stopped dreaming in America 4 months ago. I’m sure when I am home for good I will have no problem catching back up with the times. My captain and I met with our Iraqi counterpart who is an Iraqi captain himself. We were at the station today and Captain Sadt caught me and my captain as we came back in from a patrol. Through the assistance of an interpreter, he said “I want to meet with you both if it is possible.” My captain said, “Sure, we can do that in about 15 minutes if you like.” Captain Sadt agreed and we made plans to meet him in his office. We went inside to our team room, put our gear up, dusted ourselves off, and got a cold drink. We were soon sitting in Captain Sadt’s office with our interpreter. “I would want to show my appreciation to you and Sgt. Lewis for all of your help” he began as he sat behind his desk. He slowly placed a plastic bag on his desk and began to remove its contents from the bag. He gave my captain a white box for him to open. My captain instantly was surprised by Captain Sadt’s gift. My captain opened the box and inside was a ‘DIS, TASHA’ which is an Iraqi man’s dress. It was all white and the collarless. It almost looked like a shirt of a priest but only longer. Captain Sadt gave my captain another box. Inside was one of those headdresses that you see Arabic men wear with black rings that sit on top. Wow! My captain and I expressed extreme thanks to Captain Sadt for making such a gesture. He then turned to me and through our interpreter said “I would have gotten you one but I didn’t know your size. You are a big man.” I joked with him by saying to him “That is the story of my life. The Army has a hard time finding clothes for me too!” It was then that Captain Sadt spoke to our interpreter and made him get up to go get something. Our interpreter soon returned with a measuring tape. “Sadie” (which means ‘sir’ in Arabic) “You don’t have to get me anything. I am so pleased that you would do for my captain” I said hoping to change the subject. In Iraqi culture when a gift is offered one should receive that gift with thanks. It can be received as ill manners if a gift is rejected when it is offered. Well, my captain who is such a cut changed into his new gift, and to our surprise everything fit! We took some pictures of him and Captain Sadt in his new suit of clothes. Our interpreter would soon tell us that for Captain Sadt to do such a thing meant that he really appreciated and respected our work with him. That really made my day because it spoke to me that I did something of value here in this

AUGUST 10 – We were given a team ‘rest’ which meant we had three days off in which we could do whatever we wanted. Today is the first of those three days. For me that doesn’t really mean a lot to me. My life in the past year has been limited to this camp and the police station. Don’t get me wrong I will find it great to sleep in the next morning having no mission to accomplish but it’s not like getting in my car to drive away for a quick weekend getaway. Also, I have noticed that some of the units here on the camp are preparing to deploy back to the states. You can tell the soldiers that are going home. I was dropping off my laundry at the service building and next to me were three female soldiers who were thanking the laundry staff for their service. “I will never forget you, thank you for everything you have done for me” the soldier said as she reached across the counter to get the man who worked behind the counter. I know soon this will be me too! The new units that are coming in are all new soldiers with new uniforms, untanned skin, and a sense of excitement that they are glad to be here. It’s funny how 8 months ago I too was walking around like that. Now I’m considered an old timer, one who is experienced only by time. Well, my piece of business for my day off is that some of the guys are going to get together for a pizza tonight. I can really use that treat tonight.

AUGUST 11 – Whoa! I slept until 11:00 a.m. today! I haven’t done that in years! I have to admit that it felt great! Some of you know me I have always functioned on 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. I really find sleeping to be a waste of my time. I have to admit it feels great when you do get some adequate rest. I have a ton of emails to respond to and some letters to write. Also, I have been able to take some online courses that will renew my fitness certification. So I have a few things to keep me busy today. It is so hot outside I think I will eat my lunch in my room. There isn’t much going on today except me getting some well-deserved rest!

AUGUST 12 – We are back at the station again. It is so funny how we can get some antics going around here. As the logistics sergeant for the team, I had to go draw food for my team while we were at the station. Most of the food is juices, soda, milk, bread, cereal, coffee, sugar, muffins, and honey buns. Well, many of you who know me I am particular about eating baked goods. I prefer homemade or coffee shop baked goods as compared to pre-packaged stuff. Well, we were issued 4 boxes of honey buns. Well, the members of my team were torn into them. This one sergeant is trying so hard for me to partake of one of those honey buns. So much so that one day I came into our team room where my bunk is located. I sat down on my bed and I felt an object under the blanket. I reached under the blanket and pulled out a honey bun! I started laughing and I noticed the sergeant who was on his bunk across the other side of the room was laughing too. I threw the honey bun back at him and said “Good joke but you’re not going to get me to eat one of those things!” I sat back on my bed and I adjusted my pillows to get comfortable when I noticed under the pillow another honey bun! I then began a search of my entire bed and I found another honey bun! This sergeant is good for practical jokes but I have to admit that prank made my day!

AUGUST 14 – It was about 12 midnight when my interpreter and I were sitting in the Iraqi maintenance officer’s office. My captain had suggested that I go over and chat with him to see how things were going with him. “Sergeant Lewis!” he said as he opened the door to greet me. He embraced me with the traditional Iraqi male greeting with a kiss on each cheek. “Salaam” I replied being excited about the opportunity to use the little Arabic that I know. The Iraqi captain led us to two chairs that were placed in front of his desk. “Chai?” he asked me knowing I would jump at the offer because since we have been here my captain and I have become hooked on Iraqi tea. Not only do they serve it with a heaping serving of sugar at the bottom of the cup but we enjoy the rush that the caffeine gives us. As an ice breaker, I would start our conversation by talking about the Iraqi soccer team who just won the big Asian Cup competition recently. In Iraqi culture getting straight to business before discussing current or social events is considered by most to be impulsive. So the Iraqi captain and I for about 20 minutes conversed about the success of the Iraqi soccer team. Talking that along with the aid of an interpreter can be a long drawn-out process but after a while I got straight down to business with him. My questions are always about the same issues. That is vehicle maintenance, equipment, and the important of all fuel. He assured me that these areas were doing fine but he had a request of me. My interpreter couldn’t interpret the word of the thing that he wanted. It was the funniest thing to watch, the three of us sat there doing hand gestures trying to understand each other. I had no idea of the word he was trying to say so after exhausting ourselves with the English language we both decided we would look at one of his vehicles tomorrow because it would clue me to exactly what he wanted. Well, tomorrow came and it was about 6 p.m. when the Iraqi captain came over to the building where we were staying and showed me the object he was talking about. He showed me this half-inch piece of pipe that was about 12 inches long. It was bent into the shape of an ‘L’. At the end of the ‘L’ a lug was welded to the end of it. It was a spark plug wrench! What I was holding was a homemade spark plug wrench. The captain was asking me for a spark plug socket wrench. I guess there isn’t a word for that in the Arabic language. What impressed me most of all about that wrench is that primitive looking as it may be, the darn thing can be used as a wrench! I really believe this country is ready to meet its own needs.

AUGUST 16 – A small world

One of my responsibilities is the handling of the team’s petty cash fund. I make purchases for the team each month and at the end of the month, I have to close out my books at the finance office. Well, I was instructed to close out for August early so I proceeded to close out my books. There is a series of places that I have to visit before I finally get cleared to close by finance. Well, I did my roundabout as usual to prepare to clear finance. It was about 2 p.m. when I made it to the finance office. I started my mission at about 8:30 this morning so I was getting tired as the day edged on. I came in and signed in on the lip board to see the next available finance officer. I took a seat and there was a young female soldier who was at the reception desk. I have seen her several times before because like I said I have to close my books each month. She and I had a running joke about her because the first time I had met her it was her first time in Iraq. That day as I was drawing money for my team some incoming mortars hit our camp. She jumped up from her chair terrified! Her supervisor was working on my account when he excused himself to say “I need to check on Specialist Terry she gets really scared when these things happen.” The mortar attack only lasted a few minutes and soon we all were back to business. Well, today Specialist Terry and I was chit-chatting about that incident and she asked at which post I serve at in the states. I told her that it was Fort Jackson, South Carolina. I told her that I was a reserve drill sergeant there. It was then that she clasps her hands to her face and she began laughing. “What?” I said trying to figure out her little secret. “Sergeant Lewis you won’t believe this, but you where my drill sergeant at Fort Jackson! There were these drill sergeants that had to take care of us for about a week before we shipped to our basic training unit. I remember you! I was so scared and I remember you because you were so nice to us!” Well of course I train so many soldiers that it is hard to remember them all but she was right. I didn’t have an assignment like that while I was at Fort Jackson. I was touched by her remembrance of me. I rather be know as the rough and tough drill sergeant but to touch someone’s life for a moment and they remember you for it is well like they say on television, it’s priceless!

AUGUST 17 – I don’t watch a lot of television but there is a concern that I have. I know that I come from the land of free and the home of the brave. I know that freedom of speech is well protected in our country. One night I was watch a comedy show and the comedian had made several comments about our President. I also understand that the election year is coming up. I don’t believe in telling who to vote for. All I say is vote your conscience and that is between you and God. What I have learn from being over here is that as Americans we don’t know just how protected we are. You can say any thing you want about the President or the government without fear of reprisal. Over here if a person isn’t in the right group or alliance they can mysteriously disappear or be kidnapped for a ransom or worse is found dead some where! I have grown so proud of our men and women who serve in the armed forces! These men and women protect your freedoms that you treasure so dearly. It is because of these people that you don’t have invaders coming over here and dictating to you the life you ought to live. I know as an argument some people think that America is doing that to the Iraqi people but I want the world to know that I have seen such a huge presence of American support over here. It is so big here that I question “where are the rest of the countries?” I have seen some British, Australians, and Koreans. The biggest barer of the load over here is us. If you could see how your tax dollars are being consumed over here you would flip your lid! I also understand that the freedom to express ideas and speech is something that is necessary to the success of our country. I’m in a place where individual freedom is discouraged along with the expression of ideas contrary to the norm. For this I am eternally grateful and in no way be intimidated by it. This is what makes America great! I know we have our problems too but the freedom to ‘be’ is such a precious gift that we shouldn’t take for granted!

AUGUST 19 – Oh boy, the call has gone out. We have to mount up to get ready to go in this big mosque. I see this big mosque all the time when my team and I are out on patrol. They say this mosque is responsible for hiding insurgents and other fraudulent activities in the area. We have been given our brief by our team leader and soon we are out the gate headed down the road towards the mosque. We are told that there could be a chance of some exchange of gunfire. We are told that we have to make positive identification before we ever think of returning fire. I’m in my truck and already it’s about 110 degrees already. We make our way down the road and soon we are turning into the main road that leads into the mosque. What makes this mission dangerous is that Americans are not allowed in Muslim mosque at all. This was a special mission so whether or not we had permission we were going in. We got in through the front gates and took up our position within the mosque. The grounds on this mosque are simply beautiful. It has to be about 5 to 10 acres of land that is sectioned off by high concrete walls. Inside the walls is this beautiful mosque. It is a blue dome like building that is surrounded by six tall pillar buildings. This mosque is considered to be one of the major places for Muslim studies in Iraq. As I said we came in through the gates with our huge force of National Police, Iraqi Army and us through the front gates. To my relief we were not met with any resistance. I have to admit that with the large show of force that we were displaying I wouldn’t have tried anything either. Well we held our positions for about three hours as the Iraqi soldiers conducted their search of the mosque. The operation was soon finished and everyone involved packed up and headed back out the front gate. I have driven past this mosque for the past eight months since I’ve been here. I knew without a doubt that this place was harboring insurgent activity. The outcome proved to produce very little results but at least we sent out a message that this place is being watched very carefully.

AUGUST 20 – This war is really putting a strain not only on the soldiers but their families as well. We traveled out to another camp today to bring our chief to a meeting that he had to attend. This gave us a chance to eat lunch and relax for a few hours before heading out. We decided that all of us would meet back at the trucks that were parked in front of one of Sadaam’s palaces that was bombed out at the top of the building. I got back and found a comfortable seat under a shade tree. As I’ve shared before it always amazes me how people will come up and talk to me. I was sitting there shaded by a palm tree when just then one of our interpreters came up and sat down next me. Let’s just call him Allan. Allan sat down next to me and began to talk to me. “My wife is trying to move back to Baghdad.” Allan is from the country of Sudan and his wife is from Baghdad. Our interpreters get a mini vacation every 21 days when they work with us. Allan at one time had his family living in Baghdad. Allan being an interpreter for the U.S. forces automatically puts his safety and in the case of these stories his family in severe danger. Interpreters I have learned will hide their identity and also that they are working for the U.S. Forces. In the past they have been killed or kidnapped for money. Their families have been threatened as well. Well in Allan’s case he began to tell me how his wife abandoned the decision that they made for her and his two children to stay in Sudan until he finished his work with the Americans. “Why does she want to leave?” I asked. In his best English he said “she is home sick and she wants to return to Baghdad.” “Allan I am so sorry to hear about this!” I said trying to offer a mood for solace for him. “She wants to return to Baghdad to her family with the children but I have stopped her by calling the embassy to change the children’s passports.” I could see his expression change on his face as he continued on with his story. “She does not want to stay in Sudan. She wants to come back to Baghdad. This is a very dangerous place for our children!” “Well Allan I am sorry that you and your wife are going through some times together. I know this is a hard time for you right now and I will pray for you and your wife. This war has claimed the life of so many marriages!” He shook his head to agree with me but I could tell that this issue had cut him deeply. He told me that he had been married for seven years to this woman. It didn’t help matters when one of my teammates came over where we were sitting and over heard our conversation and offered the comment of “seven years is when the problems start in a marriage.” This was easy advice coming from a person who was divorced also himself. We had to load up on the trucks but I promised Allan my support and urged him to take care of his kids at all costs. When I hear about these issues it makes me really appreciate my wife Wendy. Anything is possible in a relationship but with her I trust her so much. I thank God that he has given me such a committed wife especially through these times that I am going through.

AUGUST 21 – Today we are going to setup at a school where we can hand out medical supplies to the local residents in our sector. We have designed our plan to filter in people for quick medical exams with American medical staff and also to hand out toys, soccer balls and food. My position in the operations will be manning a machine from my truck. I’ve got plenty of water to get me through the first couple of hours. This is a joint operation of American and Iraqi personal. The staging areas are set up and we have an interpreter announce on a loud speaker “Attention, attention, we are now offering medical evaluations, please come and visit our clinic.” With that being said I can see the people, mostly women, file out from their houses with their young children in tow. My area of surveillance is the street that faces out to the main road. My back will face the area where the people will stand in line to go into the school. After the interpreter has made the announcement about ten times I swing my turret around and I see this massive line of people that stretch back about a block and a half. It takes about 30 minutes until I see people making their way out the back of the school where there is stacked boxes that contain food. The boxes have things inside like rice, can goods and beans. Outside on the street children will come around our trucks asking for soccer balls and candy. After awhile I’m starting to see a pattern with the children. They will get my attention by saying “Mista, mista!” I stand up in the turret to see what they want. “Football, football” they shout at me waiting for me to deliver the goods. Well I didn’t have any soccer balls in my truck. I plenty of candy to throw to them but they don’t want my candy. They want nothing but soccer balls! I learned to use the hand signal for ‘nothing’ but these kids are very persistent. They kids pointed to the trunk of my truck indicating that they didn’t believe me and that they thought I had some soccer balls inside the truck. Well I can tell you that this game of tug of war got old real quit. I could feel that I was sweating beyond my limits and the heat was slowly draining my energy. My captain was posted at the area where food boxes were stacked in a pile. As the residents would exit out the back door he would motion them towards him where he would let them grab a food box before they would finally leave out the back gate of the court yard. Well things were going good for awhile until human nature kicked in. I noticed that some of the women who would have about four or five kids would take more than one box of food. Since I’ve been here in Iraq I see women carrying big boxes or heavy bundles on their heads! I don’t understand the custom because sometimes I can see a woman carry a big bundle on her head while walking right next to her husband who isn’t carrying anything at all! There was one lady with a little girl about the age of six who was trying to carry one of those heavy food boxes. Well after several attempts she adjusted her load and managed somehow to carry the box and maneuver he daughter out the back gate. I would periodically turn around in my turret to see the endless line of people. It just exasperates me to no end on how can we make these people less dependent on us? I know we will have the poor with us always but the best thing you can do for a man is to teach him how to fish instead of giving him a fish every time he is hungry. If you teach him to fish he will eat for a lifetime!

AUGUST 23 – We are being visited by our incoming team chief this week. He is the team chief of the guys who will replace us in December. He is a Major and I like him already. He seems to be easy going and he has a way of letting you know that he is listening to every word that you are saying to him. We put together a weekly schedule for him in which different members of our team would spend time with him briefing him on what we do. I am excited to see him because this only signifies that our time here in Iraq is drawing to a close. To be honest I feel that I have done all that I’ve come to do. On the other hand I can’t help but think that the problems the Iraqi people face is definitely a lot bigger than the both of us! I think sometimes that the U.S. needs to get out of the way so that these people can develop into what they want to be. For instance I have two teenage children. As much as it kills me to let them go I must cut the strings of dependency in hopes that they develop into productive members of society. Nobody likes to see their children struggle but letting them ‘figure it out’ is so detrimental to their growth as adults.

AUGUST 25 – Well my Captain is on the plane headed home to his family. He and I both will take leave late in the year. He was so excited to be going home to his family that he drove us crazy out on patrol this week! He is married with two small young boys. I am so happy for him because it means that I leave two weeks later after him! The antics of our team chief keep getting worse. I finally figured him out. He loves to drive up and down the neighborhoods in our sector. He will get out of the truck and talk to residents that will surround him with complaints and requests of all their needs. I watched him one day from my truck as we stopped on the street. He got out and he began to talk to an Iraqi man who was sitting on a chair just outside his house. It wasn’t long when two more adults from across the street joined in the conversation. It was about five minutes when three more men came up and work themselves into the conversation. Even though I couldn’t hear what was being said I could tell by looking at chief’s mannerisms that he was in his moment. He really enjoyed the attention he got. He liked being looked upon as the answer to all of these people’s problems! It reminded me when I started teaching fitness. I started teaching beginner classes first and soon moved on to the more advanced classes. I became well known in Charlotte as one of the best instructors. Attention and fame are like a poison. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the love and respect of my students but I have to realize I am not their god. I love being all things to everyone I meet but I can’t. I am just a human being with faults and weaknesses like everyone else! So I have taken the position with all I meet to be as real as I can be. I want people to see my shortcomings and decide for themselves if the want to be my friend. Our chief is out here promising these people things that he cannot deliver and in an Arabic culture this is not good.

AUGUST 26 – I am laughing so hard right now I can’t steady my hand on the keyboard to write this. We were out last night in the neighborhood in our sector. It was about eleven p.m. when our convoy stopped on a narrow street. There were houses on each side on this dark street. Our tactics tell us that should an attack happen we shouldn’t stop like this because now the street becomes an obstacle where we would bottleneck and be trapped like sitting ducks! Well we were ordered to stop. Our chief got out of the truck and began talking with a man that was standing just outside his house. Whenever our chief gets out our interpreter has to get out of the truck as well. So our chief went over to talk with the man. The man was complaining that he didn’t have any electrical power because of a broken power line. The man pointed to a wire that was dangling above on a telephone pole. Sparks were coming out from that wire. So it was then that our chief decided to borrow the man’s ladder that he had in his house to go and fix the wire! So the man put his weak looking ladder up against the telephone pole for chief to go up. The ladder began to crick and creak as he started up the ladder. Our chief is a few pounds over weight I might add. It was then decided to take off his body armor and climb the ladder! Well he did this and as he ascended up the ladder something happened. The wire that was flapping out of control accidentally touched the palm tree that was in the man’s yard. The tree caught on fire! It was then that we hear a call on the radio for someone to bring a fire extinguisher up to our first truck. My teammate who was driving our truck is a licensed firefighter in his civilian profession says “he shouldn’t be fighting an electrical fire with a regular fire extinguisher. It was pitch black on this street, our trucks were lined up in a vulnerable position, our chief is suspended on a ladder without his helmet and body armor on and to make matters worse there is a fire on the man’s palm tree in his yard! This had the makings of a movie comedy if ever I saw one. Even though this was a dumb and dangerous situation all the way around, I couldn’t stop laughing the whole night!

AUGUST 27 – I found today that I have been promoted! I am being promoted from Sergeant First Class to Master/First Sergeant. The news is music to my ears! When I retire I wanted my rank to be that of a Master/First Sergeant. The difference between a Master Sergeant and First Sergeant is simple. A Master Sergeant is in charge of and manages a section within the battalion. A First Sergeant (which I really want) is in a command position working as an advisor to the company commander. Prior to receiving this promotion I did graduate from the First Sergeant course at Fort Jackson about year ago. I know much more will be required of me now. I welcome it with open arms! There is another sad side to this. I will have to retire my drill sergeant hat! Of my 24 year military career this to me is my greatest accomplishment. I entered drill sergeant school at age 39. I graduated at age 40. I have been a drill sergeant for 7 years and I have loved every moment of it! As a Master/First Sergeant I can’t wear the ‘hat’ anymore. With tears in my eyes I step back into the shadows and let the younger guys take over. I still will get excited when I see a platoon of soldiers running or marching down the street. Its gives my heart such joy knowing that I was the first impression these young soldiers saw when they decided to join the U.S. Army. I will miss it very much!

AUGUST 28 –I have eleven days until I make the trip home on leave! I have been walking around excited about the thought of seeing my family and friends again. I was walking one day a strange thought hit me. I suddenly grew anxious and nervous about coming back into my American lifestyle that I once knew so well. I was afraid that if I changed so much that my family and friends would find me strange. I knew for a fact that the experience over here has changed my perspective on so many things. For example taking people and things for granted. From now on I will have greater appreciation for my family and friends. I will also stop and smell the roses. They do say that the soldiers returning home from Iraq go through these same thoughts. Maybe it’s nothing to worry about now. I know without a doubt that I have the greatest group of friends and family that love me and support me unconditionally. They love me just the way I am. It was then I could begin to feel the warm feelings rejuvenate my spirit again. Without a warning I let out a shout in front of my teammates “I can’t wait to go home!” Most of them have been on leave already so this sudden outburst of excitement was not so strange to them. They smiled at me and went back doing what they were doing when I interrupted them.

AUGUST 31 – Tonight we are at the station and the colonel of the Iraqi police has asked us to attend a dinner in which they will serve us food. As I’ve written before this is always a nervous moment for the guys because so many of them got sick the last time we ate with them. We were in the team room playing cards when one of our captains broke the news to us. “If they are going to do the cooking I am not going to eat it,” said one sergeant who remembered how sick he was by the food. “The food is going to be catered so it should be safe to eat,” said the captain trying to make the best of a bad situation. We finished our card game and made our way over to the little area that they had set up for us. The put up long tables with mix and matched folding chairs in one of their conference rooms to use as a dining area. My team which consists of 10 people, along with the colonel and his staff of 15 people filled the tiny little room. The attendants came in with food that was wrapped in individual plastic bags. When I got mine, I opened the bag and inside was several pieces of bread with grilled and ground lamb meat. Also in the bag were these pickled vegetables. I have to admit the food was delicious. With the assistance of an interpreter the Iraqi colonel gave a short speech of how he enjoyed working with us and how he wished us continued success in our mission. It sounded like a farewell speech to me. It sounded appropriate to me because our team was slowly approaching our 90 day window on the end of this mission. We finished our meals and soon the attendants came in and cleared the table. The colonel invited all of the officers and all who wanted to go upstairs for some of that famous chai tea.