JULY 1 – Today the weather is about 113 degrees today! We are not doing many house-clearing missions these days. Even though it’s dangerous I kind of miss it. In each home that I go into there is the faces that look at me. The expression on their faces is one of fear and bewilderment. Of course, when you add body armor on a 6’2 frame weighing 250 pounds it would scare me too. The language barrier is what prevents us from communicating. The little children will hide behind their mother’s Berka. Somehow I can’t help that all this is some big misunderstanding. It reminds me of a conversation that I had with my mother-in-law years ago. My mother-in-law is Caucasian. One afternoon while we were watching television together she turned to me and said: “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable.” I looked at her as if I didn’t know what she was talking about. “Mom, what do you mean?” “Roy I grew up in an Irish-American neighborhood where we didn’t have any contact with black people.” “Mom, you don’t owe me an apology, you have welcomed me with open arms” I could tell that this was something that she felt she had to say. “When I see you with my children, it’s like you belong here.” I was touched by her words. I have always kept her words with me. What she was saying is that knowing me as a person has changed all that she was ever told or taught about black people. I hate to be corny but I just know that if these Iraqi people got to know us and us them, we all would look like we belong here.

JULY 2 – Today is a sad day for me. It just happened ten minutes ago. An American soldier has been killed while on patrol. He was shot in the head and died immediately. I can’t give out the details of his name and where he is from. It bothers me that this young man will never return home to his family. This soldier serves here in one of the platoons that we are working with. He was no more than 21 years of age. He and his team were doing a patrol in one of the Iraqi neighborhoods nearby when all of a sudden we heard gunshots ring out! Having been here a while I can tell just by the sound of what type of weapon is being fired. My team and I were sitting in our team room when we heard the disturbance. We heard a few shots go off followed by the sounds of an American automatic weapon being fired. The exchange of gunfire went on for about 3 minutes. One of our sergeants came running in with the report of what just happened. This, of course, prompted our medic to grab his bag to answer the call that there were some wounded. After about an hour it had quieted down. The report came that several Iraqi National Policemen were injured but the worst of it was that a young American soldier had been shot in the back of the head. I was so afraid to ask if he was going to make it but judging from the look on the sergeant’s face it told me what the outcome was. What made this day extra hard was that one of the young soldiers came to see me when we came for our overnight stays at the station. “Boy, that was a hell of a gunfight on the roof of our building?” I said hoping the young soldier would give me more information. “If you don’t mind sergeant I rather not talk about it.” Obviously, this soldier was upset and must have known this soldier who had gotten killed today. All I could offer was the opportunity to talk about it when he was ready. Yes, today was a sad day but we all still can’t wait to be in pleasant places.

JULY 3 – I clean my rifle and all of the weapons that I am responsible for. I use a paintbrush to remove the sand and dust from all of the tight places. It usually takes me about three hours to clean my pistol, rifle, and machine gun. It doesn’t seem fair because, within a matter of minutes, they are covered with dust again! I want to thank you Charlotte, North Carolina for supporting me and my comrades in arms! With the issue of losing a soldier yesterday, a soldier will begin to think about all the people in his or her life. The trivial things don’t matter anymore. A soldier will begin to see the people that love and support him. His letters and phone calls will mirror his innermost feelings of gratitude and thanksgiving. All I ask is that when your soldier comes back home try to be more understanding. The soldier will come back to a world that he has left where the people, places, and situations have changed. I want to be the liaison for all of you to help you understand what’s going on. All the servicemen and women who serve here really have made a sacrifice. I know firsthand that it takes a lot to get through each day. Some of you might remember the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ with Bill Murray. In this movie, his character is stuck in living the same day over and over again. This drives him mad to the point where he tries to manipulate the events of that day attempting to make the day slightly different. We are limited to living in a compound. There are activities such as the gym, internet cafe, and gaming cafe are just a few things that we can do. Some soldiers will dive into their work logging 12 to 13 hours a day. When mail arrives it brings the excitement of receiving a care package or a letter from a loved one saying how much he is loved. I noticed that the chapel services are full more than usual. So just as in the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ we too have to find and do things that will keep us busy. Tomorrow is Independence Day. I can tell you that every soldier here knows now by this experience that our American way of life came with a price but it is also an example of people coming together for the cause of freedom and the pursuit of happiness.

JULY 4 – Independence Day! We have to be extra careful because the insurgents know that this is a special day for us that we celebrate no matter where we are. In just writing these few lines I heard a couple of gunshots ring out! I’m proud to be an American. My heart goes out to the Iraqis that are working for us. They don’t want to have anything to do with this country that they once called home. Our interpreter Bob wants to give his son and 2 daughters a future. I can’t hate a man for wanting to give his family life. Today at our camp they have a big barbeque plan with fireworks. This will be my first time being outside the United States on Independence Day. I have a sore throat coming on and I am not feeling well. I get pretty infantile when I get sick. I want my wife around nursing me back to health. We are at the halfway point of our deployment. We are going through a phase on the team where there is an irritation growing slowly among us. Still, I have come to love and respect these guys. Won’t give names but there is one soldier who appears to be a compulsive liar. He will sit for hours bragging about what he has and where he has been. There is another who is young but angry about this mission. His anger is more of a snotty and ‘I’m too good to do this type of attitude. There is one who is quiet but very talented as a soldier but needs to take a bath every once in a while. The next soldier is engaged to marry, but given the opportunity, he will have a relationship with another woman in a heartbeat. He has been married twice already! There is one guy who is impulsive and controlling but I wouldn’t recommend disagreeing with him. He doesn’t like to be wrong! He is a smart and talented man but no one can’t know everything! There is the hyper soldier, the sneaky one, the lazy one, and me the ‘whatever’ how they see me. Still, I love these men. In all their imperfection I still respect them and I pray for them and their families. I’ve learned that the joy of living is not in the perfection of their lives but I have found joy and humor in knowing their imperfections.

JULY 5 – We have just had a recent change in our team. Our team chief has been reassigned to another area. He has been with us since Kansas. It is really a significant impact to change the makeup of a team this late in the game. I want to let everyone who has read my stories that he has done a great job in keeping the team safe and on track here in Baghdad. There was always so much criticism from the other team members about his leadership. For me, I would pray for him. I’m not just saying that to be nice. There were days that I would see the weight of his responsibilities weigh heavily on him. Some days he would look so exhausted dealing with the issues of our team and responding to the people to whom he had to be accountable. I could sense the pressure on him when he had to make decisions for our team. I always that the comments that my teammates made about him were unfair and without consideration. It is always to be an armchair quarterback. I have told him on many occasions that I am glad that I don’t have to wear his shoes. He will be leaving his position this week. I had some good times serving with him and I want to say “thank you”. Another drill sergeant told me once “The biggest room in the house is the room for improvement!” Since I’ve been here I have grown comfortable knowing that several of my teammates need to grasp this concept!

JULY 6 – Another issue has risen its ugly head. There is one sergeant who works alongside the chief who, unbeknownst to the chief has been sending emails out to high-ranking army personnel expressing his displeasure about our team. This sergeant was transferred to our team from another team for this very same reason. Now he wants another transfer. The funny this about this sergeant is that about 3 years ago he was my First Sergeant. His behavior and antics were the same today as they were back then! When I heard that he was joining our team I immediately informed our chief about his manipulative behavior. This is a guy who presents himself as a nice guy on the surface but if he isn’t completely satisfied you can bet that he will do sneaky things. One of the these he will do is contact high-ranking personnel by email without the chief even knowing anything about it! Well, this is the scenario that has happened recently with us. We have been visited by a Command Sergeant Major, a Colonel, and a Brigadier General all in one week! Here is another kicker. This sergeant is my roommate! He and I have had conversations in the room where he has expressed his displeasure with the team. His comments are so pious and conceited. I have to hear how we do everything wrong as a team. He has spurted out how he has done special missions with the Special Forces units in Afghanistan. He also brags about how he was hand-picked for this mission by General Petraeus. Our conversations usually end up in a stalemate. This isn’t an exciting thing to write about but it will always go to show you how one person can make the life of many miserable. The sad truth about this man is that he has spent so much time volunteering to be on active duty that his wife and kids have left him. He lives a sad existence of being alone. He has already started paperwork requesting to extend his tour over here. That is where he has my compassion. It is a sad thing for a man to end up alone.

JULY 7 – The sun sets so beautifully over here. I am standing just outside the gate of the house that we are living in at our station. The sun takes on an orange-like color and it is so round as the smoky gray clouds close in around it. I still find it hard to believe that my life is on the other side of the world. I pretend sometimes what it would be like if I lived here. What would I do? Where would I live? What would my future look like? The answer is always the same for me. I wouldn’t live here! There is so much corruption here that I finally understand why these people are the way they are. It comes down to just basic survival skills. Whatever it takes to raise your children and take care of your family is one of the rules that apply here. If you are not a friend then you are an enemy. There is no real legal order here. As I’ve stated before the police here can arrest you on anything they deem illegal. The truth is that with money you can buy your way out of any situation here. You don’t even have to be secret in your dealings about it. This society is in deep need of an overhaul. The question is “Are you willing to be the one who will make the sacrifice to make sure that it happens?” The nightfall finally comes and around here no one walks the streets in Baghdad. It’s too dangerous. The insurgents see this as an opportunity to plant and set up their IEDs. Under the disguise of darkness so much happens around here. We do things on our side to counter the actions of the insurgents who want to kill us. I take one more look at the beautiful sunset and I go back inside to where it is safe.

JULY 9 – I’m still riding in the gunner position on our truck today. I enter the truck from the top. There is an open hatch on the top in which I lower my body down into the vehicle. Today is so hot it has to be about 115 degrees today. I go through my mental checklist of all the things I have to do and have with me in the hatch. I load my machine gun, and put on my body armor and radio headset. I put on my gloves and sunglasses and finish up with another few items on my checklist. There is a bench seat that I sit on when riding in the truck. I take my seat and wait until our truck commander receives his instructions to move out. I can feel a bead of sweat already rolling down my forehead, over my eyelashes, and over my lips as I adjust the band of ammunition on my machine gun. The question is always in the back of my mind, “Will I have to shoot today?” Over the past few months, I have found myself growing a bit aggressive in my thinking. The soldiers that have been killed in the last few months is the news that makes the headlines back home. The only thing is that I’m in a place where they really don’t talk about that much. It’s almost like they are afraid to tell us for some reason. Also, I have heard the actual calls come over the radio about certain incidents involving the death of American soldiers. No, I don’t think I will have a problem firing this weapon if I have to. Our truck commander says we are ready to move. I always say a prayer whenever we leave the gate. I pray for a day of no surprises!

JULY 11 – Tonight is a night mission. I hate these kinds of missions. Even though it’s safer to travel during the night it’s still dangerous because if chaos breaks out it’s really hard to know who is fighting who. As we leave the station under the disguise of darkness I can feel my heart pounding as we leave the gate. We are out here tonight with our Iraqi National Police battalion. Our job is to observe their performance and techniques while on a night patrol. My job as the gunner is to provide security for my team and the National police guys as they move throughout the neighborhood. Our truck is placed between two streets to provide security during this operation. My driver and I have decided which parts of the street that we are going to look at. Some of the Iraqi houses have some lighting but for the most part, there are no street lamps to light up the street. I see a group of several young teenagers go by. “Lew you got that group of kids walking by?” my driver asks me making sure that we pick up all or any movement on these dark streets. “Yeah I got them, it’s just a group of kids,” I say. The thought that anything could happen right now was fueling my adrenaline. My night vision goggles allowed me to see through the darkness. Good. Nothing. This went on for about 30 minutes or so with no sign of any insurgents fleeing the area. After that, we patrolled up and down the neighborhood streets to show a good presence of law and order to the people who might be watching from a window. We finished our patrol in about two hours and we were back at the station in our team room. I was exhausted. Night patrols always do that to me. As for the rest of the guys, it was time to play cards.

JULY 12 – I’m at the 5-month mark now. My teammates and I feel that we are on the downward slide to going home. I can feel myself becoming more irritable and less tolerant these days. About half of my team members have been on leave already. I’m not complaining because I purposely chose September because it will mark my 25th wedding anniversary with my wife. Two, when I return back here I will have 3 months left to serve in this country! I have been slow in my postings to the site because recently we have had a change in our lineup. We have a new chief and of course, he wants to do everything that we have done in the first four months of being here. So we have been on the road a little more than usual these days. I’m riding as one of the gunners in the truck. The day’s heat does a job on me. At the end of the day, my uniform is so wet that it looks as if someone has hosed me down. I sweat so much that my boots have dark sweat marks on them. Also, my underwear and T-shirt are just as wet. I take it all in stride because I hope to lose a few pounds when this all ends. My energy level dropped a lot too. I drink more water than I did when I was in the States. Our trucks internally have air conditioning but being the truck’s gunner the lower part of my body gets the benefit of it anyway. In a way, I am glad to be back on the road to see the sights and sounds of Baghdad again.

JULY 14 – We were loading up to move out the gate today when I spotted one of the soldiers that I talked to whenever we stayed overnight at the station. I was in the gunner’s hatch doing my pre-combat checks when he decided to climb onto the truck and talk to me. “I can’t believe they are doing this to me,” he said with a bit of sadness in his voice. “What’s going on?” I said removing my Oakley sunglasses to get a better look at him. “They are going to chapter me out of the army!” “Hey Lew, we getting ready to move out!” was a shout that came from my truck commander. “Hey, when I get back I will come to see you,” I said trying to offer some kind words. With that, the young soldier jumped down from our truck and walked back into the headquarters building from which he came. Our convoy started its engines and moved forward to the front gate to clear security. I was told by the guys in my truck the issue with the young soldier was that it was decided by his company commander that the soldier had some stress issues going on. He was exhibiting unusual behavior out in the field amongst his platoon. In the army, especially today’s army soldiers who present strange behavior in a combat zone are quickly evaluated. If they are found to be a liability to the unit they are pulled out of that unit. I talked to this kid several times beforehand and he seemed fine to me and to be quite talented. He showed me some of his interests which included several websites that he designed by himself. I was impressed because he had taught himself the HTML web language. What will happen to him is that they will ship him back to the States for a psyche evaluation and he will be put out of the army with a general discharge. This kid is only eighteen years old! I don’t know all of the details to make a sound judgment about all this but something about this worries me. I hope there is support for the many soldiers who might be going through this same ordeal.

JULY 15 – Well we took a ride down to the International Zone better known to us as the ‘IZ’ today. This is the place where the Iraqi Prime Minister is located and where everyone who comes to Iraq is located. We parked our trucks and stood outside to take in the city and its vibe. It was then that this Iraqi boy on a bicycle came up to us and of course, he wanted to sell us some display books of Iraqi money. “Mista Mista, ten dollars,” he said in what I thought was excellent English on his part. He handed me the display book so that I could review the pages of the different types of former Iraqi money. There were various notes that had Sadam’s picture on the front. Some of the bills were photocopies. The real notes had creases that made the money look uniquely different from the ones that were plainly done by a photocopier. “What’s your name?” “Mufasa” was his reply to me. Sorry about the spelling but I told him that his name came from a story out of the book called The Lion King. He, of course, had no idea of what I was talking about. I bought one of his display books. He told me that he was 14 years old. I complimented him on his diligence to earn money. “Most American kids are not as enterprising as you are. That’s good that you are working for yourself.” He politely thanked me, took my money, and hopped back on his bike to continue peddling his wares. There were other American vehicles that were parked alongside the street as well so I didn’t want to hold this young man up from making more sales. What got to me was this well-dressed Iraqi man who came up to us with his adorable 5-year-old son. The boy on the bicycle instantly became our interpreter and he conveyed the man’s intentions to us. “This man wants to know if you can care for his son” was the boy’s translated message to us. Our medic was also standing out there with us as well. To make matters worse we were parked right in front of a major hospital that rendered care to American soldiers. Our medic pressed the man for more information to find out that the man’s young boy had a hernia. Our medic lifted up the young boy’s shirt and the little fellow’s belly button was the size of a grape and was protruding out from his body! Our medic told the man that the Iraqi hospital was located right next to the American hospital here. The boy on the bike translated the man’s words to say that he couldn’t afford the cost of having a doctor attend to his son’s hernia. Our medic explained to the man that there was nothing that he could do. With that, the man shook our hands took his cute son by the hand, and continued down the street. I watched them both walk away both father and son. Just two years ago my daughter got catastrophically sick. The experience brought my world to a crashing halt! I don’t know what everyone else felt but I personally shared in this man’s frustration.

JULY 17 – Well with this new chief we have resumed a patrol schedule that seems at times ridiculous. Just in three days, I have gone on four patrols. Get this; we have been blown up 3 times in the last three patrols that we have taken! For instance, we went on a night patrol with our Iraqi police. Tonight I am loading my gear on my truck preparing to move out in 20 minutes. It’s dark outside and I can barely see where I am walking. The headlights lights from the other trucks occasionally light up the parking area. I’ve done this so many times that I can really set up my equipment in the dark. We have been briefed about our mission and the Iraqis are ready and are online in their trucks waiting to leave the gate. Personally, I hate night patrols. Even though we have night vision technology I still don’t like that feeling of going out into the dark.  We set up our position in an Iraqi neighborhood and thus began our police patrol. My sector of security is to cover two streets. I position my turret so that my vision can pick up movement down either street. My driver and I communicate with each other to make sure we are fully scanning our area. “How are you doing up there Lew?” “I’m fine I don’t see anything significant. Well after the radio checks have been verified we are out the gate and moving into a nearby neighborhood near us. Tonight’s patrol is special because our police guys are on foot. There are some key interests in the neighborhood that they must check out. As I’ve stated before in Baghdad there is no power company like Duke Energy here. The houses here run on power for about 3 to 5 hours a day. If you are fortunate to join with your other neighbors to purchase a diesel generator for your block then you will have power for a considerable time. It’s a few hours before midnight and to my surprise, there are a few streets in this neighborhood that have lighting on the streets.  I would occasionally look through my night vision equipment to make sure I didn’t see anyone walking down the street. I had to do this because if I don’t my eyes will start to play tricks on me getting me to believe someone is walking down the street. Some of the streets don’t have lighting so it’s hard to see anyone moving around in the dark. We move from street to street and take up our position each time. We were into it for about an hour when just then a big explosion took place! My back was to the blast so I was startled when I heard it. It was then that the communication traffic on our radio got frantic! The Iraqi police took cover and we, of course, took up our positions ready to return fire if need be. Well, that night didn’t claim any causalities for the American or Iraqi forces. That incident took place last night but today we got hit again today! That makes for three IEDs in two days! The team is getting concerned that this new team chief’s enthusiasm might be a hazard to our safety. As I write this we are back at the station in our team room. Everyone is has gotten something to eat and some of the guys are playing cards, sleeping, or either talking about the events that have taken place. As for me, I’m sitting on my bed at my trusted computer writing. My team thinks it’s so funny that I have so much to write about. Writing about my experiences here helps me stay relaxed and focused. I have 5 more months to get through all of this.

JULY 19 – This is the week in which our new chief has decided to implement his intense patrol schedule on us. So far we have done at least 3 to 4 patrols a day! Everyone believes that our focus as advisors has drastically changed. We have gone from training and mentoring the National Police staff to basically executing patrols that give the appearance that the Iraqis are leading them. Our new chief comes from a background in the Military Police. The rest of the team is trying to keep its wits about the situation. We know we have about 3 and a half months until our reliefs get here. It has become so clear to me about this mission. The Iraqi police here are so hesitant about patrolling their own streets. They ask so much from us in the areas of food, equipment, and support with our weapons. There is a wave of growing anger that is slowly burning inside all of us. Our new chief is extending our team and its resources hoping to better the cause of the Iraqi police. This is turning out to be a losing cause. There was one day when we were preparing to go on patrol and to our surprise, they wouldn’t go on patrol! It is noted that they are afraid of going out. It is evident to me that we are fighting two battles here. The first is that we have a leader who is willing to exhaust the team and its resources for the success of the Iraqis. Secondly, we are dealing with the Iraqis whose commitment level to their duty and country doesn’t evenly match that of their American counterparts who are trying to help them be self-reliant. I get the feeling from the soldiers over here that their efforts aren’t deeply appreciated.

JULY 20 – As we come off of every patrol I climb out of my truck clear my machine gun and move all of my equipment back into our team area. I carry my body armor, M-16, radio, and machine gun back to the team area. When I take off my body armor my uniform is totally soaked with sweat. It is so obvious because it’s 120 degrees in the heat. The patrol today was set up to raid some suspected houses that were places where they make IEDs. Trust me it was no surprise that we didn’t find anything there. Our chief thinks more like a police officer. Even when we travel down the street he will stop even if a person makes a wrong gesture on the street. We were traveling down this street in a neighborhood near the marketplace that was heavily populated with people one day. Our chief noticed that this five-year-old little boy who was standing near his mother had coincidentally put his fingers in his ears. Our chief shouted on the radio for us to stop immediately because he wanted to get out and investigate why the young boy was doing that! It is apparent to all of us that he gets very excited in the heat of the moment. His prior experience didn’t afford him this type of mission. His adrenaline about the mission really gets him pumped up. We are hoping that his drive and enthusiasm will slowly diminish. Quite frankly I find it obnoxious!

JULY 21 – It is my worst nightmare. Night patrols! I hate them with a passion! I open up the hatch to my turret and begin loading in all of my equipment. It’s about midnight and the decision has been made that we are going out tonight on a night patrol with the Iraqi National Police. I have become so familiar with this equipment that even though I don’t have much light I can virtually put everything together in the dark. There are some floodlights that shine over the generators that are located off to the right of our trucks. I still have to be careful moving up and around the truck because it’s so dark. There is one thing that I like about the night is that it really cools down. I have night vision equipment that will assist me to see in the dark. This doesn’t really give me a comfort level because when you look through the lens everything looks green. This will make for our third patrol today. The team is tired but our chief has given us a pep talk to hang in there and suck it up. The truth is that activity in Baghdad really starts at night. Insurgents will go out and place the bombs that they are going to use during the day. It is also difficult to detect gunfire and where it is coming from. What bothers me is that there are going to be more of these to come. It takes us as a team only about 15 minutes to be ready to move out the gate. Well, I’m up and my weapons are loaded, and my body armor, helmet, and glasses are on. The call comes over the radio to move out the gate. We start our engines and we and the National Police head out the gate into the unexpectant night in a cloud of dust that trails right behind us.

JULY 22 – You might remember a few days ago in which I wrote about a sergeant here who emailed high-ranking people about his displeasure about our team. He also requested a transfer (which was would have been his second transfer during this deployment). This is our third straight day down here at the station. What bothers me the most about all of these recent changes is that this sergeant has gotten his heart’s desire. This sergeant wants nothing better than for all of us to stay down here at the station 24/7! He loves it down here. To our surprise, our new chief shares his thoughts about this as well. Back at our camp, there are so many things that we need to do back at the camp. My position as the team’s logistics sergeant requires me to conduct most of my business at the camp. Our new chief has been making requests of me but I have had to tell him on more than one occasion that I can’t get him the things that he needs unless I do them back at the camp. In a way, I am used to this behavior. When planning takes place, logistics is the last thing that is ever thought about. We are called the ‘beans and bullets’ of the operation. We handle uniforms, mail, equipment, ammo, fuel, and weapons. So we don’t panic, we know that we have to be listened to. My officer tells me that this pace shouldn’t last long because there is no way that we can keep up this pace. I hope that he is right. If I spend all of my time out here I will end up being behind in my work. I personally don’t have a problem with leaving that sergeant down here by himself if he wants to live here!

JULY 23 – We have a new interpreter. Let’s just call him Jack. Jack is from Sudan. This is our fifth day down at the station and it’s about 9:30 p.m. Some of the guys are sleeping on their cots, some are watching DVDs on their computer laptops, and of course, I’m on my laptop updating my website journal entries. I take my headphones off my ears after listening to some music to help me get in the mood for writing. Jack’s bunk is right next to mine. He is a dark-skinned older man, about 50 years old with a small frame. He rolls over on his bunk and says to me “Sgt. Lewis, we must talk sometime. I try not to disturb you when you have your headphones on.” I replied to him “of course you’re not bothering me. I just like to keep myself busy.” “Sergeant Lewis I would want you to tell me about the man named Martin Luther King.” I was so honored when he asked me this. I asked myself “Where do I start?” How can I pack 50 years of history into a 30-minute conversation about the man Martin Luther King? So I proceeded to tell him about this great civil rights leader the world has ever known. After that, Jack and I talked for another two hours. I explained to him how blacks in America didn’t know a lot about their family histories due to the injustice of slavery. He told me that he could trace his family roots back at least 10 generations! He was shocked to know that most black families in America could only go back 2 or 3 generations. I was drawn to Jack’s history as well. He told me of the history of his country. He told me that he was one of eighteen children in his family. We had a great time comparing his life in Sudan versus my life in the United States. One thing that I am learning over here is that we as the human race are really not so different from one another.

JULY 24 – As of next Wednesday, I will be entering my eighth month of being here! Wow, the time has gone by fast! There is one concern that bothers me a bit. That is integrating back into society. Before this experience, I used to go to work downtown, and just like everyone else I would make a stop by Starbucks for my morning rush of coffee. I would work and take lunch with a friend or go work out at the YMCA. My evenings were spent teaching fitness in some shape or form. I know one thing for sure: I really needed this time to get away to collect my thoughts. I look forward to returning home with a fresh new outlook on life. Some of the units that have been here a while are preparing to go home. You can tell the ones that are getting ready to go home. They seemed to be a little giddy and happy. Signs go up everywhere soldiers selling all of their personal items from their trailers at bargain prices. I have to be patient because soon my time will come and I will become just like they are.

JULY 26 – I have to suit up and hit back out the gate. Keep me and my team in your prayers. Our new team chief really likes spending so much time ‘outside the wire’. With about 4 months to go, I don’t want to relax because anything out here can happen. My adrenaline goes up every time I leave the gate. Also once you add 120 degrees heat on top of that. My body armor is beginning to get a smell to it because of all the sweat. I wear a do-rag under my helmet to help with all of the sweat that drips down into my eyes while I’m in the turret. To keep hydrated we came up with a technique of freezing our bottles of water. When I’m ready to go out on the mission I grab a frozen bottle of water and sip the water as it melts. It really helps keep us cool during the day. I realized the importance of wearing the gloves they gave us. Now that we are hitting hot temperatures whenever I touch any of the metal on a truck it burns my hands! It’s not like touching a burner but more like holding a curling iron too long allowing the intensity to increase. The glasses are just as important because they not only block the sun but it also keep the dust and dirt out of our eyes. Well, I’m loaded up and ready to get into my truck. All of this stuff to wear but I understand its significance. Did I say I have to wear headphones too? Whatever, I’ve got to go.

JULY 27 – Through all of this madness, we have found humor in the midst of our circumstances. Our new chief has the habit of making long task lists for us. He sits down with a yellow-lined notepad and begins to make these elaborate task lists. For example, he has requested me to find these huge fire extinguishers that we can put in our trucks. We have already small-size tanks that fit under the seat. Instead, he wants these big tank extinguishers that are the size of a tank that a scuba diver would wear on his back! We laugh because we have no idea where to put them. Also, he plans the missions that we do with the Iraqi police. He has come up with ideas to have the Iraqi police open up all the manhole covers and patrol the sewer system. He also one day had us bring out a gas can so that we could burn a field of heavily dense brush. Keep in mind that inside that dense area could be hidden ammunition rounds that could be easily set off or that we could accidentally burn up the nearby neighborhood! This is so funny that we also brought out with us weed whackers that you would buy at Lowe’s. Some of the high grass was in all actuality bamboo-like plants. Those weed whackers wouldn’t have made it through the day attempting to cut through all that brush! Here’s another one. He also asked our medic if he could be available to help a local Iraqi woman deliver her baby! So, we are beginning to laugh about these episodes rather than complain about them. Trust me we are keeping an eye on what we are being asked to do. Although these requests are quite far-fetched we still have to remember there is still a war going on out there.

JULY 28 – The sweat is slowly dripping down the sides of my cheeks. It’s as if I am crying I feel the drops of sweat roll down my face and sometimes into my eyes. In the truck, I ride on a bench seat that on some days does a great job on my butt! We are patrolling today in our neighborhood. There aren’t too many people on the street today. We learned that the Iraqi soccer team is in the quarterfinals of some major world soccer leagues. This helps with morale because the majority of the people here in Baghdad love soccer. They live for this game. What is sad is that in the game that the Iraqi team won to get to the quarterfinals a bad incident happened at the end of the game. A suicide bomber blew up some spectators who were leaving the game. This angers me because these insurgents don’t care what they do and whom they do it to.

It amazes me how conditioned the young children are that when they see us they come out into the streets to wave us down to ask for candy. We stop temporarily at an intersection so that our lead truck can observe an abandoned house. A little boy sticks his head out from the front gate of his house. He waves at me with a smile that only a boy of 5 years old can have. I always wait and play a game with them to see how they try to get my attention. The little boy smiles at me and gives me a wave. I have my sunglasses on so he doesn’t know if I am looking directly at him. I ignore him to wait and see what else he tries to do. The boy comes fully out of the gate from his house and he begins to jump up and down. They all do this strange hand gesture where they open and close both their fists. Well, the youngster does get me to crack a smile. I begin to open a new bag of blow pops that I’ve gotten recently from one of my friends in a care package. I reward him by throwing two blow pops in his direction. The boy’s eye lights up as he runs to the edge of the curb where they landed in the street. I know soon that once he retrieves the candy he will run back inside his house and display his treasure only to return with two or three more children. This is the only connection I have with these children. There are so many barriers for us to break through but one thing reigns true; children will always love candy.

JULY 29 – I am in our team room at the station. I heard a series of shots ring out. I hear over the radio that the Iraqi soccer team just won their semi-quarter-final match. As I’ve said before these people love their soccer. Well, where’s there good news, bad news always seemed to follow. In the excitement of the celebration, one of the Iraqi policemen accidentally shot himself in the leg! He was quickly taken to their medical treatment area for his wound. I am learning where all of this is going over here. The Iraqi Police do not like going out into the field without having some kind of support from the Americans. They have reasoned that they do not get attacked as much when they are followed by American forces. We have the firepower and air support that they would love to have. Also, I have observed that the insurgents will attack Iraqi police checkpoints and convoys only when they see that these guys are alone. Our major goal is to train the Iraqis to take ownership of their own security needs. American fighting forces are trained to fight and kill the enemy at all levels. To me, it defeats the purpose of us to continue to do this for them. We have lost many soldiers and equipment in our support of helping Iraq. American soldiers have made the ultimate sacrifice to serve their country. It is time for Iraqi citizens to make that same commitment to their country and not at the expense of American blood. This is a concept I don’t feel they understand.

into a room. Her eyes are the most unique color of blue and her sense of humor still makes me laugh. She is the only person who can make me smile by just staring at me. She has been my cheerleader on the sidelines when I have to go out there and face a cruel and unforgiving world. She will never let me doubt myself. All of you think that I stay motivated all the time. That’s not really true. My wife Wendy keeps me on track and she is the woman behind the Sgt. Roy’s persona. I just miss her today. She is a great mom to our children and just a great overall person. walk spring production. Wendy began as a love interest for a friend of mine who spotted her during freshman orientation. I remembered the first time I laid eyes on her. “What do you think of her” was my friend’s question to me as we watched her audition for one of the parts in the play. “She’s cute” was all I could manage as a critique. As time went on through our years at the college we formed a friendship that would soon blossom into a romance. This year we will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary! My heart still jumps whenever she is near. I met Wendy at a play audition the college theatre department was holding for Well

JULY 30 – I really miss my wife Wendy today. What a journey we have taken together. I met her when I was eighteen years old in college. I was just rebounding from a bad breakup with a girlfriend which brought me to this school in Massachusetts in the first place. My girlfriend broke up with me on the night before my parents were to drive me to start my freshman year at Dean College. I didn’t have the heart to tell my parents that I didn’t want to go. My girlfriend and I had plans for me to attend school there in which I would visit her in Boston on weekends.